Favorite Late Night Jokes

A lot of Democrats worry Judge Alito may be a threat to the endangered species list. Democrats have been worried about the endangered species list ever since they found they were all on it.

Senator Ted Kennedy announced that he and his dog Splash are writing a children’s book. Is Splash the best name for Ted Kennedy’s dog? Isn’t that a bit like Jack Abramoff naming his dog Bribe?

~ Jay Leno

During the senate judicial hearings today Senator Ted Kennedy mispronounced Judge Alito’s name calling him Aley-ito. Senator Kennedy later apologized saying, "Forgive me, I am sober.”

~ Conan

The birthday of Elvis is this weekend. He would have been 71. Elvis and I have a lot in common. We both performed here on the Ed Sullivan Theater, and rumor has it that we’re both still alive.

~ David Letterman
-

Comments

Post a Comment

Comments are moderated and are published at the blogger's discretion.

Blog Archive

Show more

Popular posts from this blog

The Spirituality and Miracles of St. Clare of Assisi

Image
August 11 is the memorial of St. Clare, one of my favorite saints. She was the first woman to follow the life of radical poverty practiced by St. Francis of Assisi and is the co-founder of the Poor Clares. Although I am not a Franciscan, I have had Franciscan friends, clergy, and spiritual directors instruct me on the beauty of St. Clare's spirituality. I have also learned a great deal from reading about her over the years. Clare and Francis (2007) is a film which depicts the fascinating story of her dramatic conversion and surrender to the will of God. St. Clare is the patron saint of television. She is also the patron of eye disorders, embroiderers, good weather, and telephones. The Contemplative Life The Lady Clare was born into a noble family in Assisi in 1193 and was admired for her great beauty. When she heard Francis of Assisi preach his Lenten homilies at the Church of San Giorgio, she was captivated by his words. At age eighteen, she heard him say: "When the
Read more

Saint Michael de Sanctis: Patron of Cancer Patients

Image
Today is the feast of Saint Michael de Sanctis, also known as St. Michael of the Saints, a Spanish Discalced Trinitarian priest, the patron of cancer patients. Michael Argemir was born on September 29, 1591 at Vic, Catalonia, Spain. At age 6, he told his parents that he planned to become a monk and began modeling his life after Saint Francis of Assisi. Michael’s parents died when he was about ten years old. He then served as an apprentice with a local merchant. During this apprenticeship, he continued his fervent devotion to the Lord, especially to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. At the age of 12, he joined the Trinitarian Friars at Barcelona, taking his vows at St. Lambert’s monastery in Saragosa four years later.  Shortly afterwards, Michael expressed a desire to join the reformed group of Trinitarians and was given permission to do so. He went to the Novitiate at Madrid and, after studies at Seville and Salamanca, he was ordained a priest. Twice he served as Superior of the hou
Read more

Saint Gerard of Brogne: Patron of Abbots

Image
St. Gerard was born to a noble family in Staves, Belgium, in 895. He descended from a royal line of military men and at first felt a share in this call to arms. He trained for the army and, as a page of the count of Namur, he was sent on a special mission to the French court. There, Gerard realized that he was being called to the monastic life. He stayed in France and joined the Benedictines of St. Denis, abandoning his noble birthright and all his worldly possessions. He spent eleven years in France as a monk before becoming a priest. Following his ordination, he left for Belgium in order to found a new abbey on his own estate of Brogne. He was its abbot for twenty-two years and during that period was instrumental in introducing St. Benedict's Rule into numerous houses in Flanders, Lorraine and Champagne.He became known for his engaging sweetness of temper, his strict observance of the Rule of St. Benedict and for the replacement of lukewarm religious practice with true piety.
Read more