My Favorite Ridiculous Remarks -- Funny Quotes

“I don’t want to just win, I want to give this guy who is running against me a spanking."

~ Barack Obama, referring to Alan Keyes

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

~Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

~Bill Clinton, former President who was impeached

"Many of you are well enough off that the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good. "

~ Hillary Clinton

"Give Bill a second term, and Al Gore and I will be turned loose to do what we really want to do."

~ Hillary Clinton

"If Bill Clinton can be the first black president, I can be the first gay president."

~ Howard Dean

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."

~ Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"I actually did vote for the $87 billion, before I voted against it."

~Sen. John Kerry, on voting against a military funding bill for U.S. troops in Iraq

"No one will need more than 637Kb of memory for a personal computer."

~Bill Gates

"To me, the greatest book of all time is "The Bible" because there's some religious stuff in it!"

~ Jim Rosenberg

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."

~ Ken Olson, 1977, Digital Equipment Corporation

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."

~ Dizzy Dean

"Law will be simplified over the next century. Lawyers will have diminished, & their fees will have been vastly curtailed."

~ journalist Julius Henri Browne, 1893
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