Wednesday Humor

A young girl went to her pastor and confessed that she feared she had incurred the sin of vanity.

"What makes you think that?" her pastor asked.

"Because every morning I look in the mirror and think how beautiful I am."

"That isn't a sin," was the reassuring reply. "It's only a mistake.

**************************************************

Father O'Malley answers the phone.

"Hello", says a voice, "is this Father O'Malley?"

"It is!"

"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"

"I can!"

"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"

"I do!"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is!"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will."

**********************************************

There was once a newly ordained priest who joined the staff of a large, well-to-do parish. His boss, the senior priest, had been there for many years and was steeped in wisdom. The young in seminary. He was particularly proud of his efforts in the pulpit.

Indeed, he said to his boss one day, "Father, there is not a subject in the world that I could not, at the drop of a hat, find a Biblical text for and then be able to preach a homily."

The senior priest decided to put his young charge to the test.

"Well, my boy," he said, "don't you be preparing any homily for Mass next Sunday. Instead, when you get into the pulpit you will find a sealed envelope which I will have put there. Inside the envelope there will be a single sheet of paper on which I will have written a one word topic. I defy you to find any kind of text that will fit."

The young priest looked forward to the test with. The day came. He ascended the stairs into the pulpit. His boss was squirming with anticipation.

The young man opened the envelope, glanced at the sheet of paper on which was written the one word, "Constipation", and proclaimed: "And Moses took the two tablets and went off down the mountain....."

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