Some Weekend Humor

Housework Shortcuts

Are housework and chores keeping you away from the internet? Here are some sure fire short cuts that will have you back online in no time!

1. Dirty Laundry ? Find a good place to hide it! Turn your clothes inside out and they will last another week. For odors……spray with cologne.

2. Full wastebasket? Spray it with Lysol. That should hold you until you finally get someone to empty the trash.

3. Carpet need vacuuming? Call up a salesman for a vacuuming demonstration. Have him show you how the vacuum works in all parts of the house. Insist that even though the carpet looks the same, it really is different in all parts of the house. Some valuable tips for success: Don’t always call same company, keep a chart and rotate.

4. Dirty dishes? Have your cat or dog lick the dirty plates clean. For really stubborn crud, just throw the dish out and start fresh. An even better idea, use paper plates, plastic utensils, paper napkins, etc. Write everyone’s name on the plate or cup so they can use it over n’ over n’ over.

5. Dirty floors? Invite the neighorhood kids over to blow bubbles on your dirty floors, but tell them they must clean up the mess before they leave. Give them mops and paper towels. Second option - tell the kids they can go skating in the kitchen or bathroom and put pre-moistened orange wipes on the bottom of their shoes for skates.

6. Cooking? Order out and hide the boxes. Make sure you rotate daily - for example, Mexican on Monday, German on Tuesday, Chinese on Wednesday, Italian on Thursday, French on Friday, and have your spouse take you out on the weekend. For Pete's sake, you've been slaving over a hot stove all week!

To avoid all housework, take out all the "Get Well" cards you have saved for the past year or two (or buy some new ones and sign the names of all your closest friends and family members on them) and put them up around the house. Tell everyone who visits that you've been sick. The housework is killing you! It never fails -- they'll offer to help out or do it for you. Now you'll have plenty of time for the internet!


A Clean Sweep

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Comments

  1. hahaha. Jean, don't give me any ideas.
    Thanks for the chuckle.

    ReplyDelete

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