A Few Words to Spammers

Below are some examples of subject headings I have received in my email and how I would like to respond to them:

Your car warranty is about ready to expire.
(My car is 16 years young with only 100,000 miles on it!)

Obama is your man.
(I'm a conservative pro-lifer who considers Ron Paul a liberal. I carry around a bar of soap and when I hear the "O" word you had better wash out your mouth with it, buddy! Step back, Jack, I'm also a rifle toting woman.)

I have a photo of you naked.
(What do you plan to do -- scare people with it? Even my spouse hasn't seen me naked with the night lite on!)

Do you want to meet someone new and exciting?
(I already have -- I picked her up at the animal shelter yesterday.)

Body wrap: lose 6-20 inches in one hour.
(Will I get to be a candidate for "What Not to Wear" when I put on my clothes that are four sizes too big afterwards?)

Get that great new Hillary smile.
(Oooh, I can't wait -- then I'll look just like the Joker in Batman!)

uaba uairport watershed
(If I ever start a rock band, this is what we'll be called.)

dwa'iwqjliwmaq;,

(What a gift! You not only speak in tongues, but you write in tongues, too!)

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