A Few Words to Spammers
Below are some examples of subject headings I have received in my email and how I would like to respond to them:
Your car warranty is about ready to expire.
(My car is 16 years young with only 100,000 miles on it!)
Obama is your man.
(I'm a conservative pro-lifer who considers Ron Paul a liberal. I carry around a bar of soap and when I hear the "O" word you had better wash out your mouth with it, buddy! Step back, Jack, I'm also a rifle toting woman.)
I have a photo of you naked.
(What do you plan to do -- scare people with it? Even my spouse hasn't seen me naked with the night lite on!)
Do you want to meet someone new and exciting?
(I already have -- I picked her up at the animal shelter yesterday.)
Body wrap: lose 6-20 inches in one hour.
(Will I get to be a candidate for "What Not to Wear" when I put on my clothes that are four sizes too big afterwards?)
Get that great new Hillary smile.
(Oooh, I can't wait -- then I'll look just like the Joker in Batman!)
uaba uairport watershed
(If I ever start a rock band, this is what we'll be called.)
dwa'iwqjliwmaq;,
(What a gift! You not only speak in tongues, but you write in tongues, too!)
Your car warranty is about ready to expire.
(My car is 16 years young with only 100,000 miles on it!)
Obama is your man.
(I'm a conservative pro-lifer who considers Ron Paul a liberal. I carry around a bar of soap and when I hear the "O" word you had better wash out your mouth with it, buddy! Step back, Jack, I'm also a rifle toting woman.)
I have a photo of you naked.
(What do you plan to do -- scare people with it? Even my spouse hasn't seen me naked with the night lite on!)
Do you want to meet someone new and exciting?
(I already have -- I picked her up at the animal shelter yesterday.)
Body wrap: lose 6-20 inches in one hour.
(Will I get to be a candidate for "What Not to Wear" when I put on my clothes that are four sizes too big afterwards?)
Get that great new Hillary smile.
(Oooh, I can't wait -- then I'll look just like the Joker in Batman!)
uaba uairport watershed
(If I ever start a rock band, this is what we'll be called.)
dwa'iwqjliwmaq;,
(What a gift! You not only speak in tongues, but you write in tongues, too!)
LOL Jean!!
ReplyDeleteYou are a riot!! Very funny, Jean!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Donna-Marie
Thanks! I'm glad you ladies appreciate my weird sense of humor.:)
ReplyDelete