Thursday, October 30, 2008

Five Tips for Those Who Plan to Vote for Obama


1. Don’t wear T-Shirts or other paraphernalia in support of your candidate. However, you can copy the image on the left, apply glue to the reverse side of it, and then put it on your clothing, and the line will move faster. If you yell, "Yes we can!" or "Save us, Obama!" as loud as you can, you'll be out of there in no time at all!

2. Vote as early as you can -- most polling places open around 6PM, but in other states they open at 7PM. Don't forget the date to vote -- Tuesday, November 11. Mark it on your calendar now.

4. Make sure you register to vote as soon as you arrive. You won't be allowed to vote unless you are registered first. Don't carry any ID with you -- just say the secret acronym: HOPE = Helping Obama Pretend he's Exciting.

5. Plan ahead. Make sure you know where the polling places are. This year they will be located at the abortion mill or the Planned Parenthood closest to your home. The pleasant friendly abortionists there will willingly take your generous donation on behalf of Barack Obama. That way you can "share the wealth". Those poor, starving abortionists really need your money. It's also more convenient for those who desire to vote and get an abortion at the same time -- something that will make Barack Obama very happy and keep everyone so relieved that they don't have to be "punished with a baby." By the way, be sure to vote before the abortion. You may need to spend some time in the hospital emergency room afterwards if you're lucky enough to make it there.

Be sure to salute the Obama secret police on your way out the door.

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