A CELEBRATION OF LIFE AND LOVE

Today, my husband, Bill, and I, and our family and friends celebrate a beautiful gift from God. On this 13th year commemorating our union as one in the sacrament of Matrimony, we thank God for the precious gift He has given us in one another.

June 27, 1992 was not the day that we realized the importance of this great gift. We were well-prepared for our marriage. We had attended all the marriage preparation meetings and had particpated in an Engaged Couple's Encounter Weekend. We were very much in love and our marriage was the answer to our prayers.

However, it was not until we had experienced many of the realities of married life that we began to realize how strong our love was for one another and learned to appreciate the powerful graces that the Lord had blessed us with through the reception of this holy sacrament. For, is only with the passage of time that one truly recognizes and begins to appreciate the great value of just how precious God's gifts are.

This was evident when we attended the 50th wedding anniversary of our good friends, Laverne and Bill, this past weekend. They have touched so many lives as a result of their union and the love they share for one another, which is rooted in the Lord.

I wish more people in the world were aware of the true meaning of Matrimony. Pope John Paul II wrote much about the love between a man and a woman and the sacredness of marital love.

Steve Kellmeyer, Christopher West, the Reverend Richard Hogan and many others have written about Pope John Paul II's theology of the body and marital love.

I believe that the following passage from Father Richard Hogan's John Paul II's New Vision of Human Sexuality, Marriage and Family Life, best sums up what the sacrament of Matrimony is all about.

The sign of the sacrament of Matrimony, the bride and the groom saying the vows to one another, obviously signifies a union and it causes a union in the depths of their souls. Christ unites the couple in Christian marriage and so at every wedding there are truly three present (in addition to the Church's representative): the bride, the groom, and Christ. The grace given in the sacrament of Matrimony empowers husbands and wives to love each other as Christ loves us. Even wounded by sin, human beings are still called to imitate the Blessed Trinity by forming a family. The sacrament creates a union between the spouses in Christ. Their two hearts are made one in Christ and so they are empowered to love authentically.

The union created by the celebration of the sacrament of Matrimony has the five characteristics of love. It is created through the choice of the two spouses which, in turn, is founded on the knowledge that they each have of their own dignity and that of their spouse. It is a choice to give themselves to each other in a permanent and life-giving relationship. In the questions put to the bride and groom before the actual vows, the priest (or deacon, bishop, or other representative of the Church) asks the couple, "Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?" Clearly, the bride and groom are giving themselves to one another. The couple is then asked, "Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?" and finally, they are asked, "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" (See The Rites of the Catholic Church, vol. 1, Rite of Marriage, no. 24.) Clearly, the spouses have a choice and they consent. Further, no one would consent to such promises without some knowledge of oneself and the intended partner. Further, the couple give themselves to one another. The couple promises permanence and also an openness to life. The five characteristics of love are clearly present in the vows.

Implicit in the promises of the bride and groom is the promise of fidelity to one another. Marriage, of its very nature, binds each partner exclusively to the other. During the celebration of the sacrament, the couple says to one another, "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." (See the Rites of the Catholic Church, vol. 1, Rite of Marriage, no. 25.) To be "true" to one another and to "honor" one another requires a fidelity to each other. Spouses clearly understand that in entering marriage, they are promising to be united exclusively with their marriage partner until death.

So, marital love involves a "totality, in which all the elements of the person enter." Marital love "aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility. (See FC 13.)" (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1643. See also, See John Paul II, The Apostolic Exhortation on the Family, Familiaris Consortio," no. 13.)


Of course, it is important to remember that marriage is a path to holiness, a vocation to which people are called by God as a way of living out their pilgrimage here on earth. Marriage exists as a means of sanctification, as all the sacraments do. Marriage is, therefore, a path to heaven, a way of coming to holiness for each member of the family. Marriage partners are to help each other (in other words, love each other) to come to the glory of heaven. "

Through the sacrament of Matrimony couples are to "help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children. (See LG 11, para. 2; cf. LG 41.)" (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1641.)


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