The Atheist's Prayer

Our Nothing, which art Nowhere, give us this day our daily bread, and deliver us from:

Abbots and Abbesses, Acolytes, Amish, Anabaptists, Angels, Anglicans, Animists, Anthems, Anthropomorphists, Apocalypses, Appolinarianists, Archbishops, Archdeacons, Archimandrites, Augustinians, Ayatollahs, Bahaists, Baptists, Benedictines, Bibles, Bishops including Bishops of Rome, Blackfriars, Bonzes, Brahmism and Brahmists, Buddhism and Buddhists, Calvinists, Canon Laws, Canons, Canticles, Cargo Cultists, Carmelites, Carthusians, Catholics, Chaplains, Chorales, Christadelphians, Christian Scientists, Christmas, Carmelites, Choristers, Church Bell Ringers, Churches, Church Organists, Churchwardens, Cistercians, Commandments, Complines, Conclaves, Confucianism and Confucianists, Consistories, Copts, Credos, Creeds, Crucifers, Crusaders and Crusades, Cults, Curates, Curia, Deacons and Deaconesses, Deans, Decalogues, Dominicans, Doxologies, Dukhobors, Encyclicals, Epiphanies, Epistles, Evangelists, Exclusive Brethren, Existentialists, Exorcists, Franciscans, Friars, Fundamentalists, Gnostics, Gods and Goddesses, Gospels, Graces, Greyfriars, High Masses, Hindus and Hinduism, Holy Days, Holy Fathers, Holy Ghosts, Holy Joes, Holy Rollers, Holy Wars, Hymns, Imams, Inquisitions, Introits, Islam and Islamic Fundamentalists, Jacobins, Jains, Jehovah's Witnesses, (especially Jehovah's Witnesses!), Jesuits, Jihads, Judaism, Kingdom Halls, Korans, Kyrie Eleisons, Lamas, Lampadaries, Latter Day Saints, Lauds, Litanies, Liturgies, Lutherans, Masses, Matins, Medicine Men, Mennonites, Messiahs, Methodists, Metropolitans, Ministers, Moderators, Monotheists, Monsignors, Mosques, Moonies, Mormons, Moslems, Muezzins, Mystics, Nones, Novenae, Nuncios, Ordinands, Orisons, Padres, Pantheists, Papal Bulls, Parsees, Parsons, Pastors, Patriarchs, Pentecostalists, Plymouth Brethren, Polytheists, Pontifexes, Pontiffs, Popes, Prayers, Prebendaries, Precentors, Prelates, Presbyterians, Presbyters, Priests, Primates (non-animal), Primes, Priors, Proctors, Protestants, Psalms, Puritans, Quakers, Rabbis, Rastafarians, Rectors, Religious Tracts, Requiems, Responses, Rural Deans, Sacraments, Sacristans, Saint's Days, Saints, Salvationists, Satanists, Scientologists, Scriptures, Sects, Sermons, Seventh Day Adventists, Sextons, Sexts, Shakers, Shamen, Shia Moslems, Sidesmen, Sikhs and Sikhism, Sky Pilots, Sons (and possibly Daughters) of God, Suffragans, Sunday Schools, Sunni Moslems, Synagogues, Synods, Tabernacles, Taoists, Temples, Theocrats, Theologians, Theosophists, Theriomorphists, Tierces, Tithes, Tridentine Masses, Ultramontists, Unitarians, Ushers, Venerables, Vergers, Versicles, Vesters, Vicars and Vicars of Christ, Wee Frees, Wesleyans, Whitefriars, Witchdoctors, Zen Buddhists and Zen Buddhism, Zoroastrianists and Zoroastrianism.


P.S. Don't forget the bread!


- Anonymous writer

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