Fr. Stan Fortuna: My Spiritual Shepherd This Lent
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Fr. Stan Fortuna, was here for a mini - parish retreat beginning with a homily for at all of the weekend Masses, a talk, and Eucharistic Adoration on both Monday and Tuesday nights.
If there is one thing that I will remember about this Lent it will be the impact that Fr. Stan Fortuna’s words and his music had in my ongoing conversion. Without going into any great detail, I will say that particularly at this time in my life I have had great difficulty in accepting God’s will for me and have been fearful about His future plans for me, which seem to be changing constantly and weighing very heavily upon me.
However, I know that I am not alone in this struggle – Many of the great saints have dealt with the same inner turmoil. We have recently become aware of Blessed Mother Teresa's spiritual aridity and her "dark night of the soul" through the publication of Come Be My Light. Even Pope John Paul II who boldly proclaimed, “Be not afraid” had his own share of traumatic events which gave him cause to doubt and to be fearful – the death of his mother at a young age, the horrifying events of war –torn Poland in World War II, the assassination attempt on his life, the great suffering he experienced in his later years -- but it was the strength obtained through the Eucharist that gave him hope to carry on.
Sharing excerpts from the encyclicals and the writings of both Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI, the Scriptures, as well as the writings of many of the saints, Fr. Stan spoke about the power of the Eucharist in filling our lives with hope.
There was such a wealth of spiritual ideas shared (It was like being in Heaven and having conversations with all the saints there.) that even though I took detailed notes, I am still trying to absorb them and let them linger in my mind and heart as I ponder on them for the remainder of this Lenten season. I will share bits and pieces of them with you throughout the remainder of this Season and beyond. St. Therese has really been helping me in dealing with these struggles and inner turmoil and Fr. Stan spoke to both my heart and my intellect through her words. Here are a few gems:
Love attracts love, mine rushes forth unto Thee, it would fain fill up the abyss which attracts it; but alas! it is not even as one drop of dew lost in the Ocean. To love Thee as Thou lovest me I must borrow Thy very Love - then only, can I find rest.
Story of A Soul, Chapter XI
In times of aridity when I am incapable of praying, of practicing virtue, I seek little opportunities, mere trifles, to give pleasure to Jesus; for instance a smile, a pleasant word when inclined to be silent and to show weariness. If I find no opportunities, I at least tell Him again and again that I love Him; that is not difficult and it keeps alive the fire in my heart. Even though this fire of love might seem extinct I would still throw little straws upon the embers and I am certain it would rekindle.
Just as a torrent sweeps along with it unto the depths of the sea whatsoever it encounters on its course, even so, my Jesus, does the soul which plunges into the boundless ocean of Thy Love draw after her all her treasures. Lord, Thou knowest that for me these treasures are the souls it has pleased Thee to unite to mine.
Story of A Soul, Chapter XI
Father Stan's music during Eucharistic Adoration was Divinely inspired, very reverent, and heart- rending. Many around me shed tears as he sang meditative, reflective hymns containing themes of suffering (His and ours) and love, God's mercy, and surrendering to God's will. My favorite was the one he composed and wrote about St. Therese - Little Flower Song. The lyrics go like this: "I will give everything to Jesus, when I have nothing to give, I'll give Him this nothing."
If there is one thing that I will remember about this Lent it will be the impact that Fr. Stan Fortuna’s words and his music had in my ongoing conversion. Without going into any great detail, I will say that particularly at this time in my life I have had great difficulty in accepting God’s will for me and have been fearful about His future plans for me, which seem to be changing constantly and weighing very heavily upon me.
However, I know that I am not alone in this struggle – Many of the great saints have dealt with the same inner turmoil. We have recently become aware of Blessed Mother Teresa's spiritual aridity and her "dark night of the soul" through the publication of Come Be My Light. Even Pope John Paul II who boldly proclaimed, “Be not afraid” had his own share of traumatic events which gave him cause to doubt and to be fearful – the death of his mother at a young age, the horrifying events of war –torn Poland in World War II, the assassination attempt on his life, the great suffering he experienced in his later years -- but it was the strength obtained through the Eucharist that gave him hope to carry on.
Sharing excerpts from the encyclicals and the writings of both Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI, the Scriptures, as well as the writings of many of the saints, Fr. Stan spoke about the power of the Eucharist in filling our lives with hope.
There was such a wealth of spiritual ideas shared (It was like being in Heaven and having conversations with all the saints there.) that even though I took detailed notes, I am still trying to absorb them and let them linger in my mind and heart as I ponder on them for the remainder of this Lenten season. I will share bits and pieces of them with you throughout the remainder of this Season and beyond. St. Therese has really been helping me in dealing with these struggles and inner turmoil and Fr. Stan spoke to both my heart and my intellect through her words. Here are a few gems:
Love attracts love, mine rushes forth unto Thee, it would fain fill up the abyss which attracts it; but alas! it is not even as one drop of dew lost in the Ocean. To love Thee as Thou lovest me I must borrow Thy very Love - then only, can I find rest.
Story of A Soul, Chapter XI
In times of aridity when I am incapable of praying, of practicing virtue, I seek little opportunities, mere trifles, to give pleasure to Jesus; for instance a smile, a pleasant word when inclined to be silent and to show weariness. If I find no opportunities, I at least tell Him again and again that I love Him; that is not difficult and it keeps alive the fire in my heart. Even though this fire of love might seem extinct I would still throw little straws upon the embers and I am certain it would rekindle.
Just as a torrent sweeps along with it unto the depths of the sea whatsoever it encounters on its course, even so, my Jesus, does the soul which plunges into the boundless ocean of Thy Love draw after her all her treasures. Lord, Thou knowest that for me these treasures are the souls it has pleased Thee to unite to mine.
Story of A Soul, Chapter XI
Father Stan's music during Eucharistic Adoration was Divinely inspired, very reverent, and heart- rending. Many around me shed tears as he sang meditative, reflective hymns containing themes of suffering (His and ours) and love, God's mercy, and surrendering to God's will. My favorite was the one he composed and wrote about St. Therese - Little Flower Song. The lyrics go like this: "I will give everything to Jesus, when I have nothing to give, I'll give Him this nothing."
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