Weekend Humor
Did you hear that Xerox and Wurlitzer are merging?
They're going to make reproductive organs.
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Prayer Positions
Three priests sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."'
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An old Irish Priest's Dying Wish
The old Irish priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived. Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Kennedy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy's hand in his right hand and Clinton's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Senator Kennedy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Kennedy.
"Amen" said Clinton.
The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
They're going to make reproductive organs.
*************************************************
Prayer Positions
Three priests sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."'
****************************************************
An old Irish Priest's Dying Wish
The old Irish priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived. Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Kennedy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy's hand in his right hand and Clinton's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Senator Kennedy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Kennedy.
"Amen" said Clinton.
The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
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